Chapter LXI
In Yanbo I counted my money and found that there was very little, so from then on I only travelled half a stage at a time and let the camel graze while I took out my sling and hunted for my own food. Mostly I ate sparrows and other small birds, roasted over a fire, but once I killed a bustard and ate well for two days. By this means I reached to al-Khuraybah without spending any more money, but there I fell ill and spent two days in a fever being cared for by an old woman who lived in a patched tent by the sea shore.
After a week, when I was well again, I gave her a dinar - which left me with five dinars - and rode on for three days to Aqaba. Ibn Tahir received me into his house with much kindness for I was exhausted by my travels. I stayed with him for two days and would have liked to stay longer but that I was in a fever to return to al-Quds and take my news to es-Sid.
When it was time to leave I was sorely tempted to leave my horse and continue to ride Ghazala, for I was used to camel-riding by now and very proud of her, but I knew that I would have to sell one or the other and it occurred to me that the horse was not mine to sell and that Guy might not appreciate having a camel in his stables, for camels and horses do not mix well together.
"The horse is grazing with the other animals," ibn Tahir told me when I asked after the animal. "I thought it best to remove it from where the Franks might see it and steal it. I will send for it at once and the messenger will bring it tomorrow, inshallah."
That morning I went to the house of Ibrahim the fish merchant to greet him and see if there was any message for me. After we had greeted one another I asked him to take Ghazala and sell her for me.
"Why?" he asked, "Do you need money?"
I shrugged. "Everyone needs money. I have five dinars left of what you gave me. Is that enough to take me to al-Quds?"
"Take another twenty," Ibrahim said after looking at Ghazala. "You have looked after her well and she will be worth at least that much."
He looked at my clothes and grimaced. "Take my advice and buy a good cloak. Winter is here and it will be cold once you leave Aqaba."
He sent one of his slaves to guide me to the house of a man who kept sheep and goats and whose womenfolk were skilled in the making of garments. After much bargaining and many cups of coffee I bought a heavy woollen cloak for six dinars plus my old cloak, which left me nineteen for the journey.
I stayed that night in the house of ibn Tahir and in the morning one of his slaves came with my horse. I bade farewell and rode up the wadi past the deserted site of the Frankish camp. It felt strange to be astride rather than seated comfortably on a camel and also to be so near to the ground.
Around mid-afternoon I caught up with a group of merchants carrying dried fish to Kerak and stayed with them that night. At first they were suspicious of a lone traveller, thinking that I might be a spy come to betray them to robbers, but when they learned that I had spent the previous night with ibn Tahir they welcomed me.
The next day I rode on ahead, easily out-pacing the laden donkeys, but soon wished that I had stayed with the merchants for as I crossed the mouth of Wadi Rumm two men on horseback appeared and followed behind me. At first I rode slowly, thinking they were fellow travellers and willing to enjoy their company, but when they also rode slowly I became suspicious and quickened my pace, only to find that they speeded up, keeping the same distance behind.
It was obvious to me that they intended to follow me until I stopped for the night and then rob me as I slept, so I pushed my horse as hard as I dared and was greatly relieved to reach Valle de Moise just as the sun was setting. I rode straight to the castle and hammered on the gate, saying that I had come from Yanbo with news of a great battle in which the Christians had been defeated.
To my relief I was admitted at the postern and allowed to tell my story to the lord of the castle, though I made no mention of Mecca or of Amalric, for I wished to tell that to es-Sid myself and mistrusted the fire signals the Nasranis used.
"Well," he said when I had finished, "if you were expecting a reward you will be disappointed, for your story is old news to us. We heard of the destruction of our fleet nearly a month ago when Henry brought his men back from Aqaba and you can hardly hope to be rewarded for telling of the murder of our men. Still, I thank you for coming to see me."
When I saw that he was minded to dismiss me and put me out of the castle I told him that I was squire to Sid Guy and also told him of the two men who had followed me and at that he allowed me to sleep in the guard room but the guards made me put my weapons on the other side of the room from where I lay lest, they said, I try any tricks during the night.
In the morning I rode with three men of the castle who were travelling to Montreal but of the two who had followed me there was no sign and so, in the afternoon, being better mounted, I left them and rode on to spend the night in the inn.
The following day I came to Kerak, where men had set up scaffolding on the town walls and were busy even after dark repairing and strengthening. Dame Melisende received me and told me that though she had suffered some loss because of the siege, when she returned to her house most of her goods were still there, together with a writing from Harun, greeting her and saying that he had forbidden the men who had occupied her house from looting it or doing it any harm. Dame Katerina and the others in the town had not been so fortunate.
Two days later I came to Madeba in the forenoon and turned aside to see if, by any chance Charles was there. He was not but the blind sheikh received me and gave me food.
"Charles, has been here several times and asks always for news of you," he said in reply to my questions. "Did you learn anything about Reynauld?"
I looked around me at the men in the room. "I saw the heads of his men piled up in front of the Great Mosque in Medina," I said.
At once a babble of voices broke out as the men asked questions and I had to describe again and again what I had seen. Of Amalric I again said nothing, deeming that to be news for Sid Guy's ears alone. Someone must have gone outside to spread the word, for more and more men crowded into the room and even the priest came in and, when we had exchanged greetings, sat near me.
"None of us are displeased to hear that Reynauld has been defeated," he whispered to me at one point. "Just a pity that Reynauld himself was not among the slain."
I stayed that night with the priest, who enquired laughingly whether I had met any other heretics.
"No, Papa," I told him, "but I have found something even more strange."
He was the only person I told about Amalric before I reached al-Quds, for I felt certain that a priest would not be interested in telling my tale or claiming a reward. When I had finished Papa Makarios sat silent for a moment and then sighed and shook himself.
"Now may God have mercy on his soul," he said, making the Christian sign on his face and breast. "By my understanding he was an heretic, yet he showed true devotion to Christ." He turned to me and smiled. "You see, my son, although it is right for us to hold ourselves separate from these Franks and to maintain the truth of our faith as we have received it, I wonder whether God holds Himself aloof from all our quarrels?"
I shrugged, for who am I to know the will of God?
"The strange thing, Papa, is that I have always longed to perform the Haj and fulfil the requirements of religion, but when I was there all I could think of was Amalric and the hatred of my fellow Hajjis. There was none of the feeling that I had expected. Why," I exclaimed, raising my eyes to look in his face, "I felt closer to God in your Church of the Tomb than I did in Mecca!"
Papa Makarios' lips twitched but he said nothing for a moment and then he sighed.
"My son, our feelings are not always a good guide to the presence or absence of God. God is always close to those who love Him, whether they feel it or not."
"Do you think God was near me in Mecca?" I demanded.
"If you are of those who have chosen the right path, then I do not doubt it," Papa Makarios said. "On the other hand, if you have chosen to live contrary to God, then it does not matter whether you are in Mecca or Jerusalem or Constantinople or anywhere else, for God will not be with you."
I was surprised at this, for surely God is nearest to you when you are performing some holy action like going on pilgrimage or giving alms or praying, but after talking to Papa Makarios for some time I discovered that Christians do not think this. Rather they believe that if you choose the right path - if you choose to be obedient to God - then God is always with you and always showing you favour, even if you sometimes do that which is wrong.
"But surely, Papa," I objected, "if I do good things my place in Paradise is more sure and if I do bad things it is less sure?"
"No," Papa Makarios shook his head. "Tell me, what is a 'good thing'?"
"Going on Haj," I said proudly.
"Tell me," he asked, "when you were in Mecca, did you leave your camel tethered by the side of the road?"
"Of course not," I laughed. "There are so many thieves and swindlers there that I made doubly certain that Ghazala was safe in a well-guarded stable."
And then I told him of how I had been cheated in Medina in the matter of the proper clothing for a pilgrim.
"You see," Papa Makarios said when I had finished, "if someone goes on pilgrimage for no other purpose than to steal from his fellow pilgrims, is his pilgrimage pleasing to God?"
I opened my mouth and then shut it again, for this was a new thought to me.
"Even bad deeds can be pleasing to God," Papa Makarios said after a moment. "In your own Qur'an is written the story of the one who burned the boats of those who had ferried him over the river."
"Yes," I said, "but that was because he could see that a king was coming with a great army which would kill those men if it could cross the river, but because the army had no boats, those men were saved."
"Nonetheless, to destroy the property of those who have shown you kindness is ordinarily a bad thing - yet here, because it was done for a good reason, the bad action becomes a good one."
"Wallah!" I exclaimed. "Now I see it. Truly God is great, Who alone can see whether an action is good or bad."
"Exactly," Papa Makarios said. "And those who have chosen to serve Him, He sees all their actions as good; those who are rebels, like Iblis, He sees all their actions - even their good ones - as bad."
"All their actions?" I aked, surprised.
"All," Papa Makarios asserted. "Tell me, if Harun practices much and becomes an expert archer, will the Sultan be pleased?"
"Of course," I said, "for by this he will be a better warrior for the Sultan, may God reward him."
"And if Charles becomes a better archer, will the Sultan be pleased?"
I laughed. "Of course not. Why would he be pleased that an enemy has become more dangerous?"
"It is even so with God," Papa Makarios said. "If you are following God and you pray or give alms, God is pleased; if, on the other hand, you are an enemy to God, then even doing a good deed is displeasing to Him."
Not long after that we extinguished the lamp and slept, the priest in his bed and I on the floor, for though he offered me the bed I protested that the floor was more comfortable for one such as I - and in truth, with the fire burning in the stove and my cloak, I was almost too hot, which made a change from the cold days of travel.
